Each month, as I review my reading selection, I try to think of a theme that links the books together. Rarely does a clear-cut theme emerge from my random selection, but this August was different! This month turned out to be a powerful exploration of gender and sexuality. Below are the list of titles, along with some general impressions and bulleted reflection points. These books gave plenty of food for thought, so by no means are the lists exhaustive. They’re just a little detail to provide insight and perhaps pique your interests.

Dear Black Girls: How to Be True to You by A’ja Wilson

As the title hints, this memoir is a collection of letters dedicated to Black girls. Within, A’ja recounts personal stories and shares some of the lessons she learned along her journey. The letters are both words of caution and encouragement for what awaits and is possible in this world, respectively. Whether you’re a basketball fan or not, you’ll be drawn in by the realness of the memoir and find it funny, inspiring, and a necessary reminder that life is hard, but we’re all going through it. Some of my biggest takeaways include: 

• Success is not always as planned and calculated as it appears. More often than not, success will find you when you are comfortable and consistent in being your authentic self…and also when you put in the work, of course. 
• It is SO important to have people in your life that keep it real, see you and support you unconditionally!
• You might as well get used to life being hard and uncomfortable.

Things We Didn’t Talk About When I Was a Girl by Jeannie Vanasco

“Is it possible for a good person to commit a terrible act?” That is the question at the heart of this memoir. Vanasco’s writing pulls the #MeToo movement and conversations about sexual assault into our inner circles. Rather than focusing on the headline stories that feature wealthy and famous men, the memoir forces us to consider our best friends, boyfriends, brothers, and the everyday “good” people in our lives who are statistically more likely to do the “unthinkable”. 

It feels wrong to describe the memoir as interesting given the subject matter, but that is the truth. It is interesting… and thought-provoking.  It is also enraging, disheartening and altogether emotional. Some of my biggest reflection points include: 

• Power and authority. These dynamics are constantly being negotiated in all situations and interactions, whether we recognize them or not. 
• Both the victim and perpetrator are traumatized and changed by the incident of assault, albeit in different ways. What resources and supports are both parties in need and “deserving” of?
• What social, psychological, and/or environmental conditions influence acts of sexual assault? 

Queenie by Candice Carty-Williams

I think of this book as Black Girls Must Die Exhausted takes on London. Queenie is an “of-age story” where a Jamaican British woman strives to find her way in white, middle class London. What I found most compelling about this read was the portrayal of Blackness (and Black womanhood specifically) beyond an American context. I am forever intrigued by how racial, social and political reckonings including the BLM movement, gentrification, beauty standards, and more, manifest in other countries. This book gave valuable insights. 

The drama and developments of the story make this a great read for friend groups. Not only will it keep the group chat active, but it’ll generate important conversations! And as a bonus, it’s recently been adapted into a Hulu show. Here are some elements that most stood out to me: 

• The objectification and fetishization of Black women’s bodies. 
• The stigma of mental health in the Black community. 
• The various experiences of being the only Black person in the room and desperately wanting an ally…as in someone who will support you, defend you, or minimally recognize the problem at hand.

If you’ve read any of these novels, or added them to you TBR (To Be Read) list, I’d love to hear it! Comment and share your thoughts below.